I posted here about how I planned to use parsley to induce my menstruation. Here’s the step-by-step information, process, and results.

1) I have PCOS and a very long luteal phase to my menstrual cycle. I typically ovulate around day 14 and then don’t bleed for at least three more weeks, sometimes 4. At the start of this experiment I was at least a week from when I would normally start my period.

2) I put 5 coffee cups of water in a pot and brought it to a boil. Then I added one full bunch of parsley and one bunch with the stems removed and steeped it for 30 minutes. I drank my first cup around noon.

3) The tea tasted like complete ass. If you like root vegetables, maybe you wouldn’t hate it. It kind of reminded me of beets or turnips or something, which I fucking hate. Joshua said it wasn’t too bad, but I couldn’t stand it.

4) I read some recommendations to add honey, which I tried. Ugh! That was worse. The sweet was the complete wrong flavor for this veggie taste. I think you’d have better luck with salt and oregano or something if you really wanted to try flavoring it with something. The burps were extra nasty.

5) I drank a cup at noon, one at 12:30, and one at 1:00. Then I decided to take a break, and I’d drink the remaining two cups later in the day.

6) At 2:00, my stomach started to feel upset. I hoped it could be the beginning of cramps, rather than just an upset tummy. 15 minutes later, I was in the bathroom with awful diarrhea.

7) Around 3:00 I decided to try another cup. When I brought the tea to my mouth, I experienced a full-body NO! Just smelling it made me tense up and want to vomit. I decided I wouldn’t drink any more.

8) Around 4:00, I realized that I really wanted to give this experiment the full possibility of succeeding, but I didn’t want to drink any more. I made a vaginal suppository instead, and figured I could try that, rather than drinking. This means I wrapped parsley in cheese cloth, formed it into a dildo-type shape, and put it in my vagina. It was tricky to get it in, so Joshua assisted.

9) The suppository was very uncomfortable to wear, so I went to bed and figured I’d use the opportunity to take a nap.

10) At around 5:00, an hour after inserting the parsley, I woke up, with a very distinct, “Get this stuff OUT of me feeling.” I took the suppository out, then immediately had to go to the bathroom with more diarrhea. That’s it. No more parsley for me.

11) The next day, I had some very tiny spotting. Barely pink on the toilet paper. Still, spotting is not normal for me, and I was exciting that this might actually have worked.  Over the next few days, I continued to have the barest of spotting, but my period did not really start.

12) Finally, on Saturday, 5 days after using the parsley, my period started pretty much right on time. However, usually I have 1-2 days of VERY heavy flow, followed by 5-6 days of medium flow. This time, I had no heavy flow, only a light flow.

13) My typical heavy flow never materialized. Instead, I had a light flow for the next 14 days. Urgh! Talk about worst-case scenario!

Conclusion: I can’t guarantee that it was using the parsley that altered my period so drastically. I did go to Burning Man during this time, which is in a high-stress physical environment. However, I started my period before going, so the lack of early heavy bleeding can’t be blamed on Burning Man.

However, I will not try using this method again. The parsley made me very sick, didn’t start my period early, and may have contributed to the light, very long, very annoying period.