Children Are Not the Future
|May 2, 2012||Posted by Issa under Parenting|
“I believe the children are our future,” belts Whitney Houston, and I remember thinking this was a beautiful sentiment the first time I heard it. Since then I’ve interacted with some actual children, and I’ve changed my mind.
I hear that idea a lot, that children are the future or that they are a precious resource, but that’s a really distant, mechanical view to take of other human beings. Children are not “resources” to be mined or collected. Children aren’t the future. They are actual, real-life human beings right here, right now.
It seems kind of obvious when I say it like that. Of course they aren’t resources. Of course they actually exist in the present. But when I listen to people talk about kids, I’m not sure that it’s all that obvious. People talk about parenting goals, about shaping or molding their kids, about the direction they’re going, or how they are preparing them for “real life”.
All of these objectify children or treat them as “future people”, when in reality, children are real people having real lives right here in the present.
Are your parenting goals about achieving something years down the line, or are your parenting goals rooted in the relationship you’re having here in the present?
If you think of yourself as molding or shaping your child, have you considered that your child is already a wonderful shape?
Instead of considering the direction your child is going, can you just consider the place ou already is?
Instead of preparing your child for ou “real life” or “the real world”, try getting down into the life and world that already exists for your child.
Real people. Right here. Right now. With real lives. Anything else is a disservice to the awesome people that children already are.