Cured With This One Weird Trick

That’s an ironic title, of course. I think. I went over several possibilities for titling this post. Another one I considered was:

GLUTEN-FREE, WHEAT-FREE, SUGAR-HATERS ARE A BUNCH OF QUACKS, AMIRITE???

Because I kind of feel that way. I have celiac friends, and I don’t think they’re full of shit, but I’m talking about this seemingly sudden, ubiquitous avoidance of various food parts for vague and yet miraculous-sounding health reasons. Call me a skeptic, I guess.

(Note: this post discusses diet modification to address health concerns.)

I have had increasingly debilitating back pain for the last two years. Lower back, left side. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t really stand for more than 5 minutes. Cooking a meal, grocery shopping, or other mundane life tasks were getting more and more difficult to manage. I could barely walk sometimes.

My doctor was a little mystified about my pain because it doesn’t shoot down the back of my legs, and it also stopped when I sat down. An xray showed nothing. She gave me a month-long anti-inflammatory prescription hoping it was just some kind of inflammation. After a month, no improvement. At my last appointment with her, we scheduled an MRI.

On another note, we also discussed my PCOS. In part to address my PCOS symptoms, I decided to try eating low-carb. Like, really, really low carb. I’m keeping it under 20g a day.

I’m not sure what I expected to happen or when, but I did not expect that three days later my back pain would be gone. 100% gone. Not lessened, not “better”. Cured.

I no longer have back pain.

This is more like what I'm eating now. Except not so many tomatos because they have too much carb.

This is more like what I’m eating now. Except not so many tomatos because they have too much carb. Photo by dollen // CC BY 2.0

It’s sort of a big WTF for me. Is is the gluten? The wheat? Sugar in general? The mother of all coincidences? But excruciating back pain doesn’t just vanish in a single day! It’s the fucking gluten. My little skeptical self is sure it’s the fucking gluten, just to spite me.

Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m never eating carbs again. I love carbs, don’t get me wrong. All of them. But I also love being able to stand up. It’s pretty nifty. It’s been 14 days, and not a single twinge of back pain. In fact, the soles of my feet kind of hurt because I’ve been having a really, really good time standing up as long as I fucking want to.

I have absolutely no advice for you, because this is all kind of weird to me. Maybe it’s some kind of conspiracy? To get me to blog about going low-carb? Because trust me, I had no intentions of mentioning it when it was just about treating PCOS.

But now I feel like I have to say this at least once as some sort of PSA. So there ya go. Quit carbs; cured my back pain.

Share: