I didn’t expect to like breastfeeding. I thought it would be a chore, something I did because I should.

Instead, it holds me up, carries me through, and connects me to what matters. It’s the essence of motherhood, the most important parts distilled down to the simplest terms.

My days have ups and downs. My moods have ups and downs. There are things I worry about and things that confuse me.

But every single night, the last thing I do is lay down next to my tiny baby, and his head tilts up towards mine, and he sucks my nipple into his mouth, and I relax, everything relaxes and floats away. And a single, solid thought slams into me with 100% physical certainty, as clear and as real as my knowledge that I exist:

“I am a good mother.”


  1. Of course you are!

  2. I had the same experience. I expected your third sentence with ups and downs to be “My boobs have ups and downs” :) Maybe that was just me!

  3. Yes, to this post. YES.

  4. LOVE!!!

  5. Sometimes it feeds us as much as it feeds them… What magic!

  6. I hate that people miss nursing their children, and opt instead to use substitute milk. They have no understanding of all that they are missing.

  7. This is a lovely post.

  8. You ARE a great mother, and beautifully put! I couldn’t agree more, except my last thought is usually “All is right in the world” instead of “I’m a good mother.” (Mostly because I feel like I have inadequacies as a mother.) But yes, people who don’t breastfeed are really missing out on something amazing.

    • You are a great mother, too! I’m sure we all feel some inadequate-ness, but I say leave it out of those quiet moments. Just be there with your baby and know that all is right in the world – including you!

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