Posts Tagged by Dylan
|November 27, 2013||Posted by Issa under Just Pictures|
I’ve sung the praises of Chuck E Cheese on this blog before, so I’ll spare you from that today. We had one of our first really cold days today with snow on the ground and everything, so Dylan and some friends of ours headed out for pizza, rides, and games.
|November 20, 2013||Posted by Issa under Parenting|
I’ve done a bit of crying about this over the last couple of weeks, and maybe I’ll have more sad moments if Dylan asks and I say no. But the truth is that I feel good about this decision. Better than good, perhaps: it’s completely right, and I’m kind of looking forward to the future.
Breastfeeding has been 100% amazing all around. With all the troubles I had with conceiving and birthing Dylan, I worried that breastfeeding would be one more thing that went wrong. I expected to have various hurdles to overcome, and I expected not to really like it.
Instead, breastfeeding has been perfect. It was never very uncomfortable in the beginning, and the discomfort I had passed quickly. I never had a problem with supply, either under or over. Dylan didn’t have any trouble latching. We never had any real conflicts over him wanting to fiddle with my other nipple, with biting, or any of the other little ways nursing can get annoying.
I have loved every second of it.
Including the end. Once I made the decision to stop, the tapering off went completely smoothly. We went to twice a day, then once a day, with no fuss from Dylan and no engorgement on my part. I’m still making plenty of milk. I can still shoot across the room! I do expect my breasts to take a little bit to catch on that milk-making is no longer needed.
While pregnant, I didn’t really experience Dylan as a separate person from me. Pregnancy is a thing that happened to my own body. After birth, Dylan was a separate person, yes, but because of breastfeeding we were still fundamentally connected. For the first six months he didn’t eat anything but breastmilk, which meant all of his growing and developing was derived from my body. The mother-newborn dyad is so close in so many ways, I felt that we were still very nearly one person.
After a gradual shift through the months, now at nearly two and a half years, we are making the complete separation, and it seems like a great age for it. The end of our nursing relationship is perfectly coinciding with Dylan learning the phrase “Me do it!” Great timing, I think.
I want to write eloquent words to send off this part of my life, but I’m not sure I could do it justice. Breastfeeding was a magical, intimate, wondrous experience unlike any other. It was a solid, calm center to my definition as a mother, and a nurturing, connected center to Dylan’s and my relationship.
As I nursed Dylan this morning for the last time I looked intently at him wanting to capture this moment in my mind forever. I had to laugh, because he looks to me just like he did at 2 days old:
Breastfeeding or not, he’s always going to be my baby.
|November 19, 2013||Posted by Issa under Just Pictures|
|November 17, 2013||Posted by Issa under Uncategorized|
I can’t help it; my mom sent me more great photos she took yesterday!
This one is my favorite because you can see my and Joshua’s upturned faces of wonder reflected in the glass:
The jellies were awesome! They had lots of different kinds and several different displays.
I think Dylan dug the wooden penguins better than the real ones!
The butterfly garden was one area I wished I could spend a lot more time in. There were so many different kinds, swooping around, and hiding out here and there. Maybe sometime when Dylan is older we can take a more leisurely visit, because being so close to butterflies and really getting to watch them is really amazing.
|November 16, 2013||Posted by Issa under Uncategorized|
We are recovering from a long and lovely day at the Tennessee Aquarium.
We got to hang out with one of Dylan’s grandmas, watch Dylan run exuberantly from one exhibit to another, and we finished up by having a blast at a Chuck E Cheese.
Here’s one delightful pic of Dylan enraptured by sharks:
|November 7, 2013||Posted by Issa under Parenting|
Dylan has finally crossed the line and people are starting to care about his bare feet. People expect babies to be barefoot, but now he’s losing the babyhood get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to social expectations.
We walked into Walmart the other day and the greeter said, “He has to ride in the cart since he’s barefoot.” I looked at her like she was a fucking idiot, said, “No, he doesn’t,” and kept walking.
I don’t know if you know this, but people lose their shit over bare feet in public. I spent 8 years of my life as a barefooter, and I probably know a lot of things about bare feet that you don’t know.
No, they’re not cold.
No, that doesn’t hurt.
No, there are no laws against driving barefoot or being in a restaurant barefoot.
No, feet are not gross. In fact, everything you’ve seen or smelled about feet that makes you think they’re gross is caused by shoes.
But the main thing I know from going barefoot for 8 years is that people really, really care about what you have on your fucking feet.
I haven’t been a barefooter for years now. It takes a lot of stamina, given all the shit you have to put up with, and I just lost the energy.
I don’t really care whether Dylan wears shoes or not. I know there’s no reason that he “should”, and I also figure that he’d probably like to have shoes of his own like the rest of the family. I would happily leave it up to him.
However, it turns out that shoes just do not fit Dylan’s feet. Anything that his foot will slide into is inches too long.
Several people in the last week have recommended Stride Rite, since they specialize in wide shoes for kids. We went there yesterday and they couldn’t help, either. Any shoes that were wide enough didn’t fit across the top. His feet are both wide and tall.
I really have given it my best shot, within reason. I’m not going to pay a fortune for shoes, I’m not going to make some myself, and I’m not going to go on an ordering spree from online options that might work. I have exhausted the local choices, and now I’m not going to worry about it.
Everyone else is going to worry about it, though. Cue the moral panic: my kid is going to be barefoot this winter.
|November 5, 2013||Posted by Issa under Parenting, Radical Self-Acceptance|
From the first time I thought about weaning Dylan, it’s been a complicated place in my mind. We’ve had several fits and starts. Just a few months ago I committed to night weaning him, and that has led to some better sleep for both of us. I haven’t been great at consistency, but Dylan was really able to roll with the changes. That’s a good indication that he’s “ready” to stop nursing, however much he still benefits from and enjoys it.
I started seeing a new therapist a week ago, and she was pretty emphatic that I need to be on medication. I already tried the breastfeeding-compatible options I was comfortable with and they didn’t work out for me. That means breastfeeding needs to end. I cried a lot as she and I talked about that.
It’s hard to let go of breastfeeding since it’s something that has been so good for so long. For all the things that went wrong with my birth, I was surprised and delighted at how everything with breastfeeding was completely smooth and easy and perfect. For all the doubts that come with motherhood, breastfeeding was one of those things I could count on being right.
But having a mother who is taking care of herself and her mental health is another thing that I can do that will nurture and sustain Dylan. The shift has come in the balance of priorities between breastfeeding and my ability to have medical treatment.
I have nursed Dylan for two and a half years. It’s been good. It’s been enough.
The day of that first appointment with the new therapist was the same day I was leaving for Scare-n-dipity, a little burn here in Tennessee. Dylan and I were going by ourselves, so I decided to make it our little honeymoon of sorts. I nursed him as much as he wanted and had a great weekend reveling in the particular closeness we have right now.
Once we got back, we moved to twice a day nursing – just once at night and once in the morning. Yesterday, I dropped the night nursing and now we’ll just do the one in the morning for a little while.
Dylan has been asking for the boob a lot, but he doesn’t get upset when I say no which reinforces for me that it’s the right time for this to happen.
I’m going to miss it, but now I’m looking forward to what will come in our lives next.
|October 29, 2013||Posted by Issa under Homesteading|
Dylan became fascinated at my use of the mortar and pestle, so he hurried over to help.
A lot of thyme, oregano, basil, and garlic got sacrificed to this project because he just kept having so much fun. Lots of seasoned dishes in our future to use up his mixture.
Today’s potatoes are in the oven and will surely be tastier for having little hands help out.
|September 21, 2013||Posted by Issa under Homesteading|
We’re having a rainy day today. That rarely happens at The Wallow. We live in a valley, and usually we have storms that blow over in 20 minutes. Today the rain just keeps coming.
Dylan and I normally play outside all morning, but a rainy day calls for some inside activities. Today I broke out the finger paints.
Paper sold specifically for finger painting is expensive and small. Instead, I use freezer paper that we have for wrapping the meat we butcher on site. It has a wax side perfect for sliding finger paint on, and it’s in a huge roll so I can cover the whole table.
The other fun thing about rainy days is the wet bedraggled chickens running around outside. They have plenty of places to stay under cover, but a free range animal still has to get out there looking for food. Our chickens benefit from any delay we make in eating our produce. This morning they dined on squishy strawberries. Quite a feast for sad, wet chickens.
|July 26, 2013||Posted by Issa under Just Pictures|
I never got around to posting about Euphoria this year. I think of Euphoria as Dylan’s birthday, since he was such a newborn at the first one in 2011. Going to this event is a way to mark time.
Here’s a photo of us at the first Euphoria:
Here’s a photo of us from Euphoria 2012:
And here we are this year: