Trust me, I love hashtags. Hashtags bring people together on Instagram, and I use a ton of them!
I use hashtags related to my kid, hashtags related to my motherhood, and hashtags that connect the way we live our lives together.
But I just can’t bring myself to use the #boymom hashtag.
People are basically obsessed with the sex and/or gender of children. From the day you announce your pregnancy, everyone wants to know what genitals your child has. Which, let’s face it, is a little weird. Okay, a lot weird! Parents are unable to choose a name for their child without knowing the genitals. People can’t buy clothing or toys for the kid without knowing the child’s genitals. People plan on whether to have another child based on the genitals of the last one. It’s just a mess.
Because of all this anxiety and obsession over children’s sex and gender expression, I hate to add to the noise.
Extra Reading: Try this great book, Gender Neutral Parenting: Raising kids with the freedom to be themselves by Paige Lucas-Stannard (affiliate link).
When I’m connecting with other parents, I can connect with parents of kids of any gender. There are no universal girl traits or boy traits. When I do connect with a parent experiencing something similar to me, it’s the experience that’s the same, not the gender of our children.
I use tons of hashtags on my Instagram. I use #unschooling, #homeschooling, #kidsoutside, and #peacefulparenting to describe fundamental parts of our lives.
I use #pinkhairdontcare, #fatpositive, and #momblogger to describe myself and my identity.
But my child’s gender is not fundamental to our lives.
My child’s gender is not part of my identity.
Gender is a box. It works for some people, I suppose, but I find it incredibly limiting. I’m not going to hang my identity on my child’s gender. I’m not going to box my child into a gender stereotype.
I am not a #boymom. Just mom will do, thanks.