Posts Tagged by Menstruation

I posted here about how I planned to use parsley to induce my menstruation. Here’s the step-by-step information, process, and results.

1) I have PCOS and a very long luteal phase to my menstrual cycle. I typically ovulate around day 14 and then don’t bleed for at least three more weeks, sometimes 4. At the start of this experiment I was at least a week from when I would normally start my period.

2) I put 5 coffee cups of water in a pot and brought it to a boil. Then I added one full bunch of parsley and one bunch with the stems removed and steeped it for 30 minutes. I drank my first cup around noon.

3) The tea tasted like complete ass. If you like root vegetables, maybe you wouldn’t hate it. It kind of reminded me of beets or turnips or something, which I fucking hate. Joshua said it wasn’t too bad, but I couldn’t stand it.

4) I read some recommendations to add honey, which I tried. Ugh! That was worse. The sweet was the complete wrong flavor for this veggie taste. I think you’d have better luck with salt and oregano or something if you really wanted to try flavoring it with something. The burps were extra nasty.

5) I drank a cup at noon, one at 12:30, and one at 1:00. Then I decided to take a break, and I’d drink the remaining two cups later in the day.

6) At 2:00, my stomach started to feel upset. I hoped it could be the beginning of cramps, rather than just an upset tummy. 15 minutes later, I was in the bathroom with awful diarrhea.

7) Around 3:00 I decided to try another cup. When I brought the tea to my mouth, I experienced a full-body NO! Just smelling it made me tense up and want to vomit. I decided I wouldn’t drink any more.

8) Around 4:00, I realized that I really wanted to give this experiment the full possibility of succeeding, but I didn’t want to drink any more. I made a vaginal suppository instead, and figured I could try that, rather than drinking. This means I wrapped parsley in cheese cloth, formed it into a dildo-type shape, and put it in my vagina. It was tricky to get it in, so Joshua assisted.

9) The suppository was very uncomfortable to wear, so I went to bed and figured I’d use the opportunity to take a nap.

10) At around 5:00, an hour after inserting the parsley, I woke up, with a very distinct, “Get this stuff OUT of me feeling.” I took the suppository out, then immediately had to go to the bathroom with more diarrhea. That’s it. No more parsley for me.

11) The next day, I had some very tiny spotting. Barely pink on the toilet paper. Still, spotting is not normal for me, and I was exciting that this might actually have worked.  Over the next few days, I continued to have the barest of spotting, but my period did not really start.

12) Finally, on Saturday, 5 days after using the parsley, my period started pretty much right on time. However, usually I have 1-2 days of VERY heavy flow, followed by 5-6 days of medium flow. This time, I had no heavy flow, only a light flow.

13) My typical heavy flow never materialized. Instead, I had a light flow for the next 14 days. Urgh! Talk about worst-case scenario!

Conclusion: I can’t guarantee that it was using the parsley that altered my period so drastically. I did go to Burning Man during this time, which is in a high-stress physical environment. However, I started my period before going, so the lack of early heavy bleeding can’t be blamed on Burning Man.

However, I will not try using this method again. The parsley made me very sick, didn’t start my period early, and may have contributed to the light, very long, very annoying period.

Update May 24, 2012: This post has been getting a lot of comments lately, and many of them are asking for advice on how to terminate a pregnancy, how to tell if they are pregnant, and asking for advice in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I am not a doctor. I cannot help you. I am not interested in this topic beyond reporting my experience here, which was over two years ago. I am now closing comments on this post. If you have questions about this topic, please talk to your doctor or at least seek out a forum online devoted to this kind of information.

I have some mixed feelings about it, but I’m going to use parsley this week to attempt to bring an early onset to my menstrual cycle. I’m currently on schedule to start bleeding at Burning Man, which wouldn’t be the end of the world, but wouldn’t be perfectly ideal. I’ve got plans to get laid as much as possible at Burning Man this year, and while menstruation rarely causes me any consternation since I use the Diva Cup, it does get in the way of sex, especially with new partners.

From a being-a-hippie perspective, I’m hesitant to mess with my cycle. I know that you can take hormones now to not have periods at all, and that creeps me right the fuck out. Regardless of what the doctors say, I think there’s a reason my body does what it does every month, and I’m not interested in avoiding it.

Then there’s the other side of the being-a-hippie perspective: There are lots of plants that are emmenagogues – herbs that stimulate menstrual blood flow. Knowing what they are and utilizing them to tailor my experience of my body seems very in tune with the possibilities that nature offers me.

Consider the way I use drugs, for instance. I usually avoid drugs that remove an aspect of my self. I rarely take pain medication, for instance, because I want to be alert to my body’s signals. I rarely take cold medication, because I figure my body is doing its thing and will work it all out. I take recreational drugs, however, because I feel they add something to my experience of myself, rather than taking something away.

I’m following a similar logic with my period this month. I wouldn’t take drugs to remove my period entirely. However, taking something to slightly speed up the process, in order to create more joy in my life, for a specific experience, seems in line with my other philosophies.

Looking around online, parsley seems the way to go. The relevant agent in parsely is fairly mild; it’s not considered an abortifacient. Starting today, I will make some parsley tea, and drink 3-4 cups, followed by more the next day if my cycle hasn’t started. Some users of this method report that their period started within the next day.

I’ll keep you updated on how it goes!

See here for the results!