Why It’s Okay For You To Do Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmation Series:

  1. Why It’s Okay For You To Use Positive Affirmations
  2. What Are Positive Affirmations?
  3. How To Find Your Personal Positive Affirmations
  4. Add Depth to Your Positive Affirmations
  5. Supercharge Your Positive Affirmations
  6. Get Aggressive With Your Positive Affirmations

Why It’s Okay For You To Use Positive Affirmations

If you’ve ever heard of positive affirmations, you’ve probably also rolled your eyes at the idea. I sure have. I’ve thought to myself, “Yeah right, saying sugary sweet things to myself is hardly going to make a difference. Plus, I might vomit.”

Unless you’re already on the crunchy-goddess-woo-woo train, positive affirmations have a bad rap. And why not? They’re dumb, they’re untrue, and they don’t work. That’s what I thought, anyway. Is that what you think?

I’m going to get back around to positive affirmations, but let’s talk about something else first.

Negative Thoughts

Let’s talk about that horrible fucking voice in your head that is constantly telling you mean things about yourself.

Now, I don’t know what your voice says. I only know what my voice says. But, I read a lot about mental health, and I have some idea of the things in people’s heads. When you’re thinking about that horrible little voice in your head, do any of these things sound familiar?

  • I suck.
  • I can’t do anything right.
  • I’m stupid/boring.
  • Nobody likes me.
  • I’m a terrible parent/lover/friend.
  • I’ll never make friends/find a lover.
  • I’m unlovable.
  • I’m a failure.
  • I don’t deserve nice things.
  • I ruin everything.
  • It’s too late.
  • I’m old and/or ugly.
  • The world is an awful place.
  • I’m afraid.
  • I don’t know what to do.
  • I don’t know how to do anything.
  • I don’t have any skills.

Why do you say these things to yourself?

We have a huge collections of beliefs in our minds. We get these from childhood, picked up from the beliefs of our family and friends, and all the ways that Mother Culture talks to us. Some of our beliefs are working well for us. A lot of our beliefs are messing us up. They’re dysfunctional, and they keep us from our true values and dreams.

I say shitty things to myself because I believe these things, at least some of the time. I heard them somewhere, over and over again, until I believed it. I also think that somehow if I beat myself up enough I will change so that they’re not true. Somehow by reminding myself how horrible I am, I am going to become a different, better person.

You will have your own reasons and baggage that go into why you think the things you do.

Remember our harsh verdict of positive affirmations? They’re dumb, they’re untrue, and they don’t work. Have you ever applied that same judgement to your negative thoughts?

  • They’re dumb.

“I ruin everything.” “I can’t do anything right.” These are silly exaggerations. Just a few moments of clear thought will show that they don’t reflect all of reality. “I suck.” What are you? A third grader taunting yourself on the playground of your mind? These things are dumb.

  • They’re untrue.

At the very least, they aren’t true all the time. You don’t ruin everything. You may be old and ugly, but you’re not the oldest and ugliest person ever, and it doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. You may be a failure at some things, but you are a success at other things.

  • They don’t work.

Are you trying to beat yourself into submission? Trying to turn yourself into someone these statements don’t apply to? Then they don’t work, do they? You’ve been beating yourself up for 10, 20, 30, 40 years. Somehow you’re still telling yourself the same things.

The Shift

You’re going to find it easier to stick with saying the negative things you’ve always said to yourself. You’re going to resist change. You find your negative thoughts familiar and comfortable even as they give you negative feelings.

If you stick with me through this series and start to use positive affirmations, you’re going to have awkward feelings about them. Maybe embarrassment, self-consciousness, or silliness. That’s okay. These are better than your negative feelings.

Stick with it, and you will find those feelings shifting. You’ll feel resistance at first, but you will come to feel things like joy and peace when you use your positive affirmations. Then you’ll know you’re on the right track. The more you use positive affirmations the more they will whittle away at your negative resistance.

The Truth

If you can justify saying negative things to yourself, you can say positive ones. {Tweet this}

 Now listen up, I have an irrefutable truth to share with you. If you can spend so much time saying shitty things that are dumb, untrue, and don’t work, then you can spend a little time saying positive things that are dumb, untrue, and don’t work.

In other words, it does not matter what you think of positive affirmations. It makes no difference how silly you think they are. Do them anyway. Say the dumbest things. Say things that are completely untrue. Say things you think have no chance of making any difference.

It does not matter.

You can do it for your negative thoughts. Why not do it for positive ones?

Read the next post in this series: What Are Positive Affirmations?

Special note: This Positive Affirmation series is a mental health topic. I am writing about it because positive affirmations have been highly useful for me. While I write very forcefully about them, you are the only one in charge of your mental health treatment options. If this isn’t for you, chuck it and move on. Only you know what’s right for you.


The Four Agreements {LoveLiveGrow} #mentalhealth #positiveaffirmationsI’ll leave you with a book recommendation. The Four Agreements was one of the first books I can remember that helped me see myself and the world in a more positive way. What other tools have led you to more positive thoughts?

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