How about whatever the fuck we want?
I saw a fat woman on Tumblr the other day mention how she was proud to have gone out in public for the first time wearing a tank top. I was kind of shocked, but I don’t blame her for having gone so long without showing her fat arms. There’a a whole lot of pressure in our culture for fat people to try to be invisible. I am happy for her for going out in a tank top.
I’m also fucking livid at anyone and everyone who ever said anything that makes people afraid to go outside in the clothes they want to wear.
This recently crossed my screen:
How about I dress for the weather?
Is that really such a difficult concept? If you don’t want to see my body, then I suggest you look away! Or perhaps just keep your judgmental ass at home, because when you go out in public, you’re going to encounter people. People who are different from you. So stuff it!
It really is oppressively hot these days. It is simply not okay for fat people to wear clothes uncomfortable for the weather just because it’s fashionable to hate on fat people.
So, taking my own radical advice, I went out in public in a skirt that I normally would only wear in especially skin-friendly places, like a burn. To be clear, this skirt is only “too short” because I’m fat. A person who was my exact height in this exact skirt but who was skinny wouldn’t be showing “too much skin”. But it’s a lightweight skirt that’s perfectly comfortable for this weather, so out I went.
It also shows off my hairy legs, which I’ve been wanting to do more of this summer.
I got a bit of a thrill for being in public wearing the amount of clothing that was truly comfortable for me.
Another aspect of being a fat-person-in-clothes that I’ve been considering is The Tug. The Tug is the reflexive, obsessive pulling of clothing every time I move to ensure that no stray bits of skin are poking out. I do this especially at the bottom of my shirts in the front to make sure no belly is showing. I do this so much that the first place my shirts wear out is right there where I tug, tug, tug, eventually making worn spots into holes.
Here’s what I’ve been thinking: If there’s someone looking who wants to have mean thoughts about my fat, it’s not going to be that bit of skin that pushes them over the edge. If I successfully hide everything with The Tug, the fat-hater isn’t going to mistakenly believe I’m really a skinny person. If some skin does show, the fat-hater isn’t going to all of a sudden notice that I’m really a fat person and then start hating on me.
The fat-hater is just a fat-hater. Whatever I’m doing or not doing, the fat-hater can come up with ways to hate on me without much help from me. Might as well just let my clothes fall where they may.
This my third task in The Be Big Project.
- I am the size that I am.
- Wearing certain clothes or wearing them a certain way doesn’t change that.
- I have my permission to wear the clothes that are comfortable and enjoyable to me.
- Yes, even if that means tank tops, short skirts, horizontal stripes, bikinis, bright colors, or shirts that show my belly whether accidentally or on purpose.
You can do it, too, if you like! What clothes do you worry about wearing or what styles have you recently begun to proudly show off?
Oh, and just so you know, that e-card is objectively wrong, because I want to see your backfat. And your jiggly arms. And your droopy belly. And your thunder thighs. Just for the record.