I’ve been ignoring LoveLiveGrow for awhile now. I’m not sure whether I’m going to get back into writing or not. It’s hard to say at this point. Once I was too depressed to write so I wrote about being too depressed to write, and that had the positive result of me writing more about depression. Do you think that’ll work for not-blogging? I’ll write about not-blogging and then somehow not-blogging will become a rich source of content? Probably not.
I’m not in a depression and haven’t been for awhile. I’m experiencing another kind of state which, frankly, is probably most like a mid-life crisis. I just feel a general apathy and low-level confusion about big swaths of my life. I’m stressed out about money. I don’t want to do housework or errands. I’m a little bit angry all the time. I’m not sure what I want to do with my life. I kind of want to run away.
Mixed in with that I’m having a fairly good time. We went to Euphoria, Georgia’s summer burn, and I had a great time. I got a big stock tank to use as a backyard pool, and playing in it with Dylan is a wonderful, peaceful fun. I’ve read a bunch of books. I’ve learned to play Texas Hold’em. I started smoking again awhile back, and I’m loving that. I got some new chicks, and they are growing up adorably.
Life is good. It’s just kind of mentally… lethargic. Maybe it’s summer. Maybe it’s nothing.