Giving Up and Writing About Depression
I originally started writing about depression because when I’m depressed I can’t think about much else. That’s happening right now.
I’m in a depression. (Thank you Greta Christina for that language: “in a depression” sounds so much better than “having a depressive episode” which is what I had been saying.) It’s been going on a couple of weeks now. Too long to just be a bad day.
I’m doing okay on the home front. Parenting-while-depressed is a skill, I suppose, and I feel like I’m doing it okay right now. Stuff with Joshua is good. We have strategies that keep us sane even when I’m not.
Honestly, the thing I’m most frustrated with lately is blogging. I’m worried about a variety of things about GLORIFY (edit: link removed, no longer active). And I can’t make the number of posts I want to here at LoveLiveGrow.
So I’m hitting up the standby of just talking about depression.
I’ve even abandoned social media. My (few and far between) tweets are little bursts of depressed anger:
I need a pause button for my life. For when it's hard to take a breath and keep going. #depression
— Issa Waters (@IssaWaters) March 25, 2013
I hate the world. And people. It's all stupid.
— Issa Waters (@IssaWaters) March 27, 2013
Still struggling. I had a couple of days of serious depression. A couple of days a little lighter. I always feel like I'm sinking, though.
— Issa Waters (@IssaWaters) March 28, 2013
Depression makes it really fucking hard to be a writer.
— Issa Waters (@IssaWaters) March 29, 2013
Jeezus. Getting out a fucking blog post tonight is like pulling teeth. I can't write for shit.
— Issa Waters (@IssaWaters) April 2, 2013
Tonight on Twitter, craving interaction, I just decided to start having discussions with people about depression. I asked:
Have you ever taken meds for your mental illness(es)? And then stopped? Did you regret the decision? Ever go BACK on meds?
— Issa Waters (@IssaWaters) April 4, 2013
I’m sure you can tell from my convo starter what’s really on my mind: whether to go on taking my med combo. How about you? What’s been your experience going off meds?
Issa is a wild and rebellious mama who wants to live a carefree life where that little anxious voice is put on mute. How about you? As a writer she feels successful if just one other person feels any comfort or inspiration from what she’s written.