Joshua and I have been trying to conceive a child since 2006. It has not been a pretty journey. I have had three pregnancies and three miscarriages. Scattered throughout have been various diagnoses, including PCOS, hypothyroidism, and a congenital thrombophilia, all of which have involved me adding various medications to the daily prenatal vitamin I’ve been hopefully taking since 2006.
After the diagnosis of the thrombophilia, following my last miscarriage in March of this year, Joshua and I went to see a genetic counselor. The bottom line from the 4 hour meeting was twofold: 1) I could start taking a daily aspirin to address the thrombophilia, and 2) There wasn’t really anything else science could do for me, unless I wanted to start down the road of random invasive procedures that may or may not help.
(Side note: I am open about my medical issues/pregnancy, and it doesn’t bother me to talk about all this. If you have questions or want to talk about PCOS, hypothyroidism, thrombophilias, miscarriages, infertility, etc, as it relates to me, you, or just in general, I’d love to talk about it in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org – some of these topics are given too much silence. I’m more than willing to be out loud about them.)
I got pregnant again in August, although I didn’t really have my hopes up. Yes, there was a chance this would be the one that worked, but realistically, I was just waiting around for the miscarriage to start. I was holding off on having a doctor’s appointment, because I really thought a miscarriage would be starting any day. Who wants to pay for an ultrasound to tell you nothing good is happening in there?
Well, eventually, it had gone on long enough that not knowing was driving me crazy. I made an appointment at 9 weeks 2 days. I was fully prepared for the ultrasound tech to tell me there was no baby, but at least then I’d know. Instead…
I’m now another week along, further than I’ve ever carried a pregnancy, and presumably things are still going okay in there. The fetus measured 8 weeks 3 days, which is off from the actual dates of 9 weeks 2 days, but I don’t know how much meaning to give that.
I am still trying not to be super attached to the whole idea. I’d like to get a little further along before I breathe easy. I probably still wouldn’t be telling anyone, except Joshua was excited enough to want to go ahead and tell people. I’m looking forward to my next appointment, which will be at 13 weeks. If everything still looks good on that day, I’ll start to believe that I’m really pregnant and it’s really going to stick around this time!
Even when trying not to be too attached, I’m still pretty happy. This is the furthest I’ve ever gotten! And a heartbeat! Whee!
Issa is a wild and rebellious mama who wants to live a carefree life where that little anxious voice is put on mute. How about you? As a writer she feels successful if just one other person feels any comfort or inspiration from what she’s written.