Why is the Self Always Somewhere Else?
I think this is supposed to sound inspirational. I’m supposed to think, “Yay!” or “Yes!” perhaps.
Here’s what I wonder:
If I need to “find myself”, that means I am not currently myself. Whatever my self is has yet to be discovered. It’s over there or under there or back there. Maybe it’s around here somewhere, but I don’t currently have it. I don’t currently have me. I am not me.
If I need to “create myself”, that means I am not currently myself. Whatever my self is has yet to be created. It’s currently smaller or less colorful or less complete. Maybe it’s a creation almost finished, but it’s not there yet. I’m not myself yet. I am not me.
They sound pretty much the same: I am not myself.
Maybe you would say that it’s about the journey rather than the destination. That the finding or the creating are continual, and that even as I am myself I am always finding or making more of myself.
That sounds really exhausting.
Can I just take a rest here for a moment and be?